On Halloween, I can take my mask off. It gets so hot and sticky under those things. After smelling my own breath for a while, coming out from underneath that things is like instant satisfaction.
When you use the slogan “Love the Sinner, Hate the Sin,” we don’t realize what we are really saying to a sexual minority. I can’t take off the mask of my sexual orientation.
I am afraid Christians think they are saying something compassionate when they love me despite my orientation. It can seem like they are creating a compassionate place for me while protecting the Christian church from my “behavior.” But what they don’t realize is that they are using an archaic slogan that impacts my whole being.
Behavior is what I choose. I can choose to walk to Trader Joe’s on my break. I can choose to play the piano. I can choose to make out with some guy. I get that.
Sexual orientation is something that I did not choose. I didn’t purpose in my heart to like something, tried it, and then enjoyed it only because I purposed I would. No straight boy vowed that he would be visually stimulated by breasts and then when he saw them for the first time [during puberty] he liked them only because he told himself to like them.
I get that most Christians don’t feel comfortable with my orientation and the behavior I choose to associate with it (although its none of their business). Fair enough.
But when you use the slogan, “Love the sinner, hate the sin” your talking about my whole being, not just my behavior. Using this slogan with amember of the LGBTQ community is exactly like saying, “Isaac I love you, but I hate that you are Hispanic.”
You cannot love a sexual minority and hate the way they experience excitement. You cannot love a gay person and hate the way they feel protected by the same gender. You cannot love a bisexual person and hate they way they feel special.
“Love the sinner, hate the sin” is a message that preaches judgment instead of unconditional love. How about we stop hating parts of one another and just love? Isn’t that enough?
“Love the sinner, hate the sin,” taught me to put a mask on: if I show up in my authenticity as a bisexual man I will be hated. And inevitably I would use the premise on myself- I would learn to hate who I am.
For far too long I lived underneath that mask- hot, sticky, smelling my own shaming breath, and detached from understanding unconditional love…the love that Christ came to teach.
I wasn’t born straight, but neither were you. So on this Halloween, don’t mind me if I show up without a mask, because there's no hate here.